How Chris McLean Stole Christmas
by Explosivo25
Summary: A parody of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Rated T for some swearing. Read and review, and happy holidays! 2 parts, part 2 is up!
1. Chapter 1

How Chris McLean Stole Christmas

A/N: I know there's already a Total Drama parody of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" out there, but I decided to make one that's a bit different. I'm not turning the whole story into a Seussian rhyme, but rather using it for a few parts and making an actual story type thing for others. Furthermore, instead of Chef, Chris is the Grinch. Enjoy, and may everyone have a merry Christmas!

A/N: I own nothing!

Every contestant of Total Drama liked Christmas a lot,

But Chris McLean, who was the host of the show, did not!

Chris hated Christmas, the whole Christmas season!

Now, please don't ask why, because no one (not even the author of this story) knew the reason.

It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.

It could be, perhaps, that his wingtip sneakers were too tight.

But maybe the most likely reason of all

Was that Chris was a jerk and had a heart two sizes too small.

(cut to the nonrhyming world!)

The 22 original contestants had gathered at Camp Wawanakwa to celebrate the holidays. Of course, not all of them were there by choice. Chris had decided to torture them as best he could by making everyone stay there and filming their holiday. Even though many wanted to be home (or in some cases, somewhere not home or the hell that was the small island), they had decided to make the most of their time.

While some were being lazy and doing absolutely nothing, others were either doing something semi productive or embracing the Christmas spirit. Since Chef was fortunately gone for the holiday season, DJ was making a Christmas meal, while Eva and Duncan were trying to keep Owen from breaking into the kitchen (which he had already attempted to do 6 times and was refusing to give up). Ezekiel and Izzy were trying to decorate the large pine that they had designated as the Christmas tree (or rather, Izzy was climbing it while Ezekiel alternated between putting things on lower branches and watching Izzy to make sure she wouldn't fall). Cody and Harold were rigging up lights. Lindsay, Beth, Katie, and Sadie were making snow families. Tyler, Geoff, and Trent were having a snowball fight against Gwen, LeShawna, and Bridgette. Others were not as into the weather or the holidays (Noah not having much in the way of spirit in general, Heather being her usual cranky self, Justin not being used to the cold weather, and Courtney preferring bury her nose in a textbook to celebrating. So, while the others were having fun, Heather was sulking in the Gopher cabin, Noah and Courtney were cooped up in their respective cabins, and Justin was hiding under his blankets and shivering.

Chris, meanwhile, was absolutely irritated by what he saw.

"Ugh, look at them!" he moaned. "They're supposed to be at each other's throats! God, I hate this holiday! Stupid lights, stupid tree, stupid-"

A lightbulb went off in his head.

What if he could ruin Christmas for all of them?

The very thought almost made him dance with deceitful joy. It was so perfect! He would just sneak around the camp while they slept and kill off any sign of Christmas or holiday spirit!

The problem was, however, how to go unnoticed.

A/N: Yep, our Chris truly is an evil grinchy bastard. Part 2 will be hopefully put up on Christmas Day, if I'm not traveling for it's entirety. Please read and review and tell me how I'm doing! Also, try and guess who my Cindy Lou Who is!


	2. Chapter 2

ow Chris McLean Stole Christmas, Part 2

A/N: Merry Christmas, everyone! Thanks for the reviews, they always make me smile! Here's part 2, with a bit less rhyming.

Disclaimer: As I stated in chapter 1, I own nothing.

"Why do I have to do this, man?" asked Chef, who was adjusting a pair of reindeer antlers on his head.

"Because I need someone to help me carry everything!" Chris reminded him. His plan was simple: tear down any sign of Christmas on the island during the night and make everyone miserable.

"Can't I take off the antlers?"

"No. They make you look funny."

"Besides," Chris added, "it's in your contract."

"I hate my job." Chef muttered.

Chris flung his large sack over his shoulder, and the two moved out to put Chris's plan into action. They ripped down all the lights, murdered the snow families, stole any gifts some of them had planned on giving, and wrecked the dinner DJ had worked so hard on.

As you imagine all this going on, hum this parody of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch":

You're A Mean One, Chris McLean:

You're a mean one, Chris McLean  
You really are an ass  
I hope Owen sits on you  
And you suffocate from his gas, Chris McLean.  
You really need an acting class! (seriously, his acting SUCKS!)

You're a monster, Chris McLean  
Your heart's as black as coal  
Your brain's infected with hair gel  
You're as dirty as a mole, Chris McLean.  
And like Scott from Revenge of The Island, you have no soul!

You're a foul one, Chris McLean  
You may fool us with that fake white smile  
I hate your plan so much I want to choke on my own bile, Chris McLean.  
I'd sooner write a happy ending for  
a vicious crocodile!

You're a three decker anchovy  
And cockroach sandwich  
With Chef's suicide sauce!

The last thing that Chris needed to do was to get rid of the tree. Just as the tree was about to come down, someone noticed what they were doing.

"Hi, Chip!" someone shouted.

It was Lindsay, who was returning to her cabin after leaving to use the bathroom.

"Oh, uh...hi, Lindsay." Chris replied dully , wishing the blonde would just leave so they could finish what they were doing.

"What are you doing to the tree?" she asked.

"We're, uh, shortening it." he muttered, racking his brain for a lie. "It wasn't up to code. Surprise!"

"Okay!" she replied, leaving.

Chris and Chef breathed sighs of relief. That was TOO close.

The next morning...

"What the hell happened out here?" asked LeShawna.

The contestants had just stepped outside and noticed the wreckage.

"What happened to all the lights?" asked Cody.

"Our snow families are gone!" Katie and Sadie wailed.

"The tree's gone too, eh!" Ezekiel gasped.

"Is the food okay?!" Owen asked frantically.

DJ left for the mess hall and returned a few minutes later, shaking his head.

"NO!" Owen shouted. "CHRISTMAS IS RUINED!"

They all were extremely disappointed. Even Noah looked a little sad. Then, hoping to pick everyone's spirits up, Geoff started singing a certain Christmas song:

"Frosty the Snowman, was a jolly happy soul..."

At first, everyone looked at him blankly. Then Beth joined in, followed by Lindsay, Katie and Sadie, Owen, Izzy, Bridgette...soon even Eva, Gwen, and Heather were singing. Louder and louder they sang, until people in Nunavut could probably hear them.

Chris listened to them sing, utterly disgusted.

"Why are they so fricking happy? Their Christmas was ruined!" he whined.

"Maybe it wasn't about the decorations, or the gifts, or the food...maybe it was about...togetherness?" he asked himself, trying not to vomit.

And what happened then...?  
Well...on Total Drama they say  
That Chris's shriveled up empty heart  
Grew two sizes that day!

END

So, that's the end of the story. This probably wasn't my best work, but hey, it's the holidays. Congrats to ellie2498 for guessing correctly that Lindsay would be Cindy Lou Who! Let me wrap this up with one more little rhyme:

Tell me what you think with this review button down here

Angel419 wishes you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year


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